A Story of Fiction

Man! That was close!
By Wheat
It all started on a beautiful spring day. Birds were chirping, bees were humming, and a slight breeze out of the north ruffled the grass, mussed my freshly combed hair, and tugged at my suit coat like a child wanting attention or a treat. It was a perfect day, a picture worthy of the cover of Field and Stream, Arizona Highways, or GQ. A day where nothing could go wrong, and all the world was right.
I was minding my own business when, in my peripheral, I saw it and we locked eyes. I didn’t ask for this challenge, but was willing to face it with relish (and a little mustard) because I am the Man, and Men don’t walk away from a fight. The stare seemed to be everlasting to everlasting, and yet we kept on staring. The breeze stopped breezing, birds froze in mid chirp, bees stopped buzzing and fell out of the blossoms they were servicing, time stood still. We were like statues, I frozen in mid stride, it frozen in mid slink.
It had eyes like limpid pools of crude oil, the unmistakable dentures of a wild beast, sharp and dripping, a body gleaming black, all muscle and sinew, claw and bone, waiting for the chance to strike, to rend and tear, to gnash and gnaw, it’s nose working like a hyperactive hamster, trying to catch my scent on the breeze.
Over the centuries songs have been sung, books have been written, poems and prose have been created in words sublime about the interminable nature of man, and what he can do with a little bit of motivation, a lot of effort, and some rocky road ice-cream, and this situation was right up there with Homer’s Iliad.
Who would act first? What would be the tell-tale movement that would betray its intention to strike? Why does pneumonia start with a p? What did I do to deserve this battle of wits, this test of testosterone? Why did I eat that whole pan of brownies?
I had to keep staring. Must not blink! Eyes burning, tears streaming. Oh the pain! But I must continue! I must win, for I am a winner! I am the Man. I must not allow myself to be lured into complacency by those deep pools of black that swallowed my stare like so much Dr. Pepper!
Every muscle tensed, all of my senses on high alert, ready to act or react in an instant! Waiting for the slightest movement – the flick of the tail, the twitch of a whisker, the bat of an eye that would betray the intentions of this formidable foe.
Just before the time when my eye-balls were ready to dry up like prunes and sink into the black recesses of my orbits, my muscles tie up in knots, and my brain seize up like an un-lubricated lawnmower, it was gone. It left just as suddenly as it had arrived, taking nothing with it but the air that filled its lungs and the time that had elapsed. No whoosh of sound, no stomping on the ground, no pomp and circumstance, now how’s yer mother, just gone like that pan of brownies, disappearing into a handy irrigation culvert.
The birds resumed their birding, the breeze resumed breezing, the bees (wondering why they were on the ground) resumed their servicing, all things resumed their activities, and together we let out a collective sigh of relief. Time recommenced, the journey of the earth around the sun continued, its orbit temporarily interrupted by this little drama.
Talk about your close encounters! Never before had the will of man been so tested! Never before had I been so close to oblivion and certain destruction! Never before in the entire existence of mankind had a homo-sapien been so close to a certain bath in tomato juice! All that was left was the unmistakable odor of my fear, and skunk!
Good thing he didn’t spray me. Now I can continue on my way to church!

So that's how it's done!

I've been thinking about creating a blog for quite some time and have actually now taken the time to do it.
First a word of warning: I am the world's worst typer, so there will probably be errors. Just remember: to err is human, to really louse things up you need a computer.
I'm not sure entirely what I will put here yet, so this will be a work in progress as, I'm sure, all blogs are. We'll have to see how it goes.